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Disaster effects on emergency responders and their families have received little attention in the media or the scientific literature to date. Nonetheless family members of firefighters, police and military members, to name but a few, may experience significant distress related to the effects of trauma on their loved ones. This qualitative study explores post-disaster reactions and coping among 8 FDNY firefighters and their families 30 to 36 months after the terrorist attacks of September 11th 2001. In-depth interviews focus on distress, coping strategies, parenting and family environment to explore and illustrate reactions and resilience in firefighters, their wives and children. Persistent symptoms of trauma and distress were reported by firefighters and spouses while children showed a wide array of behavioral and emotional responses. Distress peaked for the families approximately 6 months post-disaster with reactions including an overwhelming sense of obligation to fallen comrades and persistent fears among all three groups. All participants reflect on their struggles with the disaster and its aftermath and their efforts to cope and find meaning in a changed world.